A Harrowing Story of Brotherly Love, Sacrifice and Trauma

“Tell Me Who I Am” is as shocking and disturbing as you’ve probably already heard, but don’t let that put you off watching it. Despite it’s stomach-turning revelations, it pries open a taboo subject and is impossible to tear yourself away from. At its heart is an unwavering brotherly bond that, after enduring untold suffering, allows two men to confront their pas to tear-jerking effect.

First, the film will leave you speechless, then, it’ll have you talking about it for weeks. A devastating combination of an impossible true story and filmmaking at the peak of its craft makes “Tell Me Who I Am” one of the best documentaries you will ever see.

After suffering a motorbike accident and slipping into a coma, 18-year-old Alex Lewis wakes up in hospital. Looking around him, he recognises only one thing, his identical twin brother Marcus. Perplexed by the anxious woman beside him, unable to recall his own name and struggling to understand the concept of the hospital building that surrounds him, he turns to his brother. Marcus starts by reintroducing Alex to his own mother and showing him how to tie his shoe laces but before long, he starts re-writing his brother’s past, omitting a horrific childhood that Marcus himself doesn’t have the strength to relive.

Like Alex, we’re led to believe what Marcus tells him. Our impression of their family life is a happy one, albeit with a strict father and a strange arrangement where their bedroom is away from the main house, but with no real cause for concern. After all, what could be so bad that your twin brother would hide it from you? But, as the film progresses and the mood changes, it becomes obvious that it can only be worse than we imagine.

At age 32, Alex is grieving his mother’s death at her bedside but Marcus remains unmoved. His bizarre reaction sows the seed of doubt in Alex’s mind and upon making a particularly sinister discovery when clearing out the family home, he chooses to confront his brother and discovers the truth about his mother. But for the next 20 years, Marcus will refuse to give Alex the detail he so desperately needs in order to reconstruct his memories, identity and above all, recover the unique bond and intimacy the twins have always shared.

Alex and Marcus at 18.

The final part of this extraordinary story takes place in the making of the film itself. At this point the brothers, now in their 50s, describe in a later interview that the filming process no longer felt like it was about making a documentary, but that it became about them and their relationship. In a surreal and cathartic unscripted climax nearly 40 years in the making, the brothers are seen together on screen for the first time and Marcus is finally able to tell his brother what happened all those years ago.

The overriding reaction from viewers and critics alike has been shock and horror, and its no surprise that for some this film has proved depressing and ‘too much’. There’s certainly a lot to unpack after watching. So much so that the initial focal point of Alex’s amnesia seems like a distant memory by the end of his story. Its also true that a lot of questions go unanswered, as some critics have pointed out.

Alex and Marcus today

But, give your thoughts a chance to settle and the film’s true colours begin to shine through. This is a story about brotherly love, sacrifice and a journey to overcome trauma. The film is shot entirely using interviews of Alex and Marcus - with adept reconstructions filling in some of the gaps - and after an hour and a half of holding their gazes, seeing their tears and hearing their pain, its impossible not to like them and the intimate relationship they’re both so desperate to rekindle. Watching two grown men put themselves through this process so that they may move on, together, is a humbling and beautiful thing.

What makes “Tell me Who I Am” even more unusual, is the symbiotic relationship that develops between the film and its subjects. Director Ed Perkins shows true artistry in visually reconstructing an anecdotal story in such a compelling way, but his greatest achievement is the therapeutic effect the filming process has had on its subjects. Not only does this add to the film’s singularity, it also has a broader effect on its audience as they ride the rollercoaster of the twins’ lives and are then granted the cathartic satisfaction of the film’s finale.

“Tell Me Who I Am” is undoubtedly a gruelling watch, but its also very rewarding. To label it a disturbing true crime thriller would be unfair to Alex and Marcus, whose relationship and personal journey the documentary is really about. One thing’s for certain, you won’t be left unmoved.